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    December 02

    忍受

    今天阳光很好。在图书馆看到一本书,其中的一个章节的名字就是《忍受》。
    杜拉斯曾经说过,“男人,应该是非常地爱他们,非常非常地爱他们。否则,就不可能忍受他们。”
    其实我觉得,不管是对男人还是对女人,只有爱,很爱,才能够忍受。
    我相信。
    现在的我,很容易不相信什么,而信什么就会很坚定。很少有模棱两可的时候。
    爱,只能在忍受的废墟上才能建立起来。
    建立的前提是有这样一张面孔:干净,表情谦恭朴实,热烈并且认真。
    建立的结果有两种,有时候渴望他人的理解,有时候则希望有一种不太过分的解释。
    建立的过程大概是这样的,她做过很大的努力改变自己的性格,她想以这种方式控制自己的敏感,让这种敏感流露于文字而不是出现在生活。
    但是事实上,这个很难做到,只是有可能做到。
    为爱自己的人报以轻微而且感伤的歉意,然后,迷失在对自己爱的人浓烈而且绝望的投入中。
    她说话,写字,说很多很多话,写很多很多字,或者什么也不说什么也不写,但是与这个世界,沟通于语言而文字,但是隔绝于互相的内心。
     

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